Quiz Questions

Classic - Thanks Lou

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
 
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey, Goosey?
 
THE WEAKEST LINK
Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.
 
Anne Robinson : Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant: Bombay.
 
Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant: Crocodiles.
 
Anne Robinson : Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting) : Pass!
 
Anne Robinson : In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling
entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.
 
Anne Robinson : The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were
written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?
 
Anne Robinson : Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins
with G, > revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state funeral?
Contestant: Geronimo!
 
NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET
Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.
 
CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL
Searle : In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller : Japan .
Searle : I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear
that, I can let you try again.
Caller : Er... Mexico ?
 
FAMILY FORTUNES
1) Something a blind man might use? - A Sword
2) A song with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon
 
3) Name the capital of France? - F
 
4) Name a bird with a long Neck? - Naomi Campbell
 
5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A burglar
 
6) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital
 
7) What is Hitler's first name? – Heil
 
8) A famous Scotsman? – Jock
 
9) Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde.
 
10) A dangerous race? - The Arabs
 
11) Something that floats in a bath? – Water
 
12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? - A horse
 
13) Something you wear on a beach? - A deckchair
 
14) A famous Royal? – Mail
 
15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A bicycle with wings
 
16) A famous bridge? - The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
 
17) Something a cat does? - Goes to the toilet
 
18) Something you do in the bathroom? – Decorate
 
19) A method of securing your home? - Put the kettle on
 
20) Something associated with pigs? - The Police
 
21) A sign of the Zodiac? – April
 
22) Something people might be allergic to? – Skiing
 
23) Something you do before you go to bed? – Sleep
 
24) Something you put on walls? - A roof
 
25) Something slippery? - A conman
 
26) A kind of ache? - A fillet of fish
 
27) A jacket potato topping? – Jam
 
28) A food that can be brown or white? - A potato
 
29) Something sold by gypsies? – Bananas
 
30) Something red? - My sweater
 
RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN
 
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona .
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant : I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in
Spain.
 
STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2
 
Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
Contestant: India.
 
Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
Contestant: Espresso.
 
Wright: What is the capital of Australia ? And it's not Sydney .
Contestant: Sydney.
 
THIS MORNING
 
Judy Finnegan : The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera.
True or false?
Contestant: True?
Judy Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an
American TV show, so I'll give you that.
 
BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE
 
Paul Wappat : How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel
last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
 
BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC
Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
Contestant: Four
 
BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW

Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er...
Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
Contestant: Walked?
 
DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.

ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE

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