Origami Bank has folded. Sumo Bank has gone belly up. Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song. Today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. Samurai Bank are soldiering on following sharp cutbacks. Ninja Bank are reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
It’s time again for the annual ‘Stella Awards’! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald’s in New Mexico where she purchased the coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right?
If you had purchased £1000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago they would now be worth £4.95. With HBOS last week your £1000 would have been worth £16.50 £1000 invested in XL Leisure would now be worth less than £5. BUT If you bought £1000 worth of Tennents Lager one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminium re-cycling plant, you would be paid £214.
I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all. Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
JIB JAB - always very good with their political skewering and satire let loose their latest on the current US campaigns. Change the faces and it pretty much applies to the UK scene aswell - but that is a different story ! You might also like tocheck out some of the other links. Enjoy. It’s A Joke People - Find Out More
At Penn State University , there were four sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an “A” so far. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn’t make it back to Penn State until early Monday morning.
Thanks to ‘Mike’ for these … 1. Two blondes walk into a building………. you’d think at least one of them would have seen it. 2. Phone answering machine message - “…If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key…" 3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says: “Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts." 4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find
This test only has one question, but it’s a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous. Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line. THE SITUATION: You are in England , York to be specific.
A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, What’s going on?' ‘Terrorists down the road have kidnapped Gordon Brown, Alistair Darling, David Miliband and Jack Straw. They’re asking for a £1 million ransom, otherwise they’re going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire. We’re going from car to car, taking up a collection.
While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and start making clockwise circles with it. Now, while doing this, draw the number 6 in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction and there’s nothing you can do about it. ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.