It's hopelessly incurable and a very cruel disease.
This is how it manifests:
I decided to wash my car.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I sort the bills from the junk mail and decide to pay my bills.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trashcan under the table, and notice that the trashcan is full.
I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.
But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I go to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.
I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye. They need to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.
I decide I’d better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter and fill a container with water when suddenly I spot the TV remote that someone has left on the counter.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, we will be looking for the remote, but nobody will remember that it’s in the kitchen.
I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.
I go to water the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.
So, I put the remote back on the counter and get some towels to mop up the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
- the car isn't washed,
- the bills aren't paid,
- there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
- the flowers aren't watered,
- there is still only one check in my checkbook,
- I can't find the remote or my glasses,
- and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
I try to figure out why I got nothing done today and I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m very tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I must try to get some help for it, right?
But first, I decide to check my e-mail.
ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE
Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.