… my thanks to Mike Klein for this …

A short poem created entirely of actual quotations from George W. Bush. These have been arranged, only for aesthetic purposes, by Washington Post …

BLONDE LOGIC

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking and one blonde says to the other, “Which do you think is farther away…Florida or the moon?” The other …

… once more - my thanks to Mike Klein

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. * If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will …

… thanks to Mike Klein

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

1. The Fasting & Prayer …

… thanks to Mike Klein

DAMNITOL

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours

EMPTYNESTROGEN

Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how …

.. thanks to my Dad - and his friends at Probus - for these great one liners.

1. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

2. A man woke up in a hospital after a …

Don’t know if any of the following is accurate, but it sounds good!

In George Washington’s days, there were no cameras. One’s image was either sculpted or painted. Some paintings of …

… with thanks to Dinesh ….

1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - “And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

2. New Zealand …

A Japanese company (Toyota) and an American company (Ford) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On …

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROO M

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange …