BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking and one blonde says to the other, “Which do you think is farther away…Florida or the moon?” The other blonde turns and says “Helloooooooooo, can you SEE Florida..?????”
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died… After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, “What’s the story?” He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor” She asks, “How often do I have to do THAT?”
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday, you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!!!”
AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that it hurt wherever she touched her body. “Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.” The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, “You’re not really a redhead, are you? “Well, no” she said, “I’m actually a blonde.” “I thought so,” the doctor said. “Your finger is broken…”
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled “PULL OVER!” “NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!!!”
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?” She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off???”
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?” “HELLLOOOOOOO……,” answered the blond. “They’re “watch” dogs!!!”
ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE
Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.