OPENING CEREMONY

The flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of the
area, in the traditional dress of balaclava and shell suit. The flame
will be contained in a large overturned …

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An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar …

1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of sht.

   2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

   3. How about never? Is never good for …

How to Make a Woman Happy

It’s not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a …

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You …

The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. The announcement followed Ferrari’s decision to take advantage of the British governments ‘Work for Benefits ' scheme …

European Heightened Security The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from MIFFED  to PEEVED.  Soon, though, security levels may …

A Muslim was seated next to an Australian on a flight from London to Sydney. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Aussie asked for a rum and coke, which was brought and placed …

Blessed Are The Non Smokers … is a piece by Oliver Pritchett of the Telegraph - tickled my bone- thanks Dad.

Somewhere there will be an equivalent piece - I am sure - that will discuss the fact …

More thanks to Mike Klein …

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria.


TEACHER: John, why are …