It's hopelessly incurable and a very cruel disease.
This is how it manifests:

I decided to wash my car.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I sort the bills from the junk mail and decide to pay my bills.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trashcan under the table, and notice that the trashcan is full.

I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I go to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.

I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye. They need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.

I decide I’d better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter and fill a container with water when suddenly I spot the TV remote that someone has left on the counter.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, we will be looking for the remote, but nobody will remember that it’s in the kitchen.

I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I go to water the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.

So, I put the remote back on the counter and get some towels to mop up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

• the car isn't washed,
• the bills aren't paid,
• there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
• the flowers aren't watered,
• there is still only one check in my checkbook,
• I can't find the remote or my glasses,
• and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

I try to figure out why I got nothing done today and I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m very tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I must try to get some help for it, right?

But first, I decide to check my e-mail.

ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE
Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity.
The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.

ONE-POINT DARES

1. Ignore the first five people who say ‘good morning’ to you.

2. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

3. Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, “Sorry, I really prefer it this way”.

4. Walk sideways to the photocopier.

5. While going in an elevator, gasp dramatically each time the doors open.

6. When in elevator with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn’t you.

7. Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy…"

8. Don’t use any punctuation.

9. Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.

10. Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.

THREE-POINT DARES

1. Say to your boss, “I like your style”, wink, and shoot him with double-barrelled finger.

2. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.

3. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

4. Every time you get an email, shout ‘‘email’’.

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do, shout, “dagnamit, it’s happened again!”. Then do it again.

7. Introduce yourself to a new colleague as “the office bicycle”. Then wink and pout.

8. Call I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can’t seem to access any pornography web sites.

FIVE-POINT DARES

1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

2. Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as “Dave”.

4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have to go do a number two”.

5. When you’ve picked up a call, before speaking finish off some fake conversation with the words, ‘‘she can abort it for all I care’’.

6. After every sentence, say ‘Mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in: “The report’s on your desk, Mon.” Keep this up for one hour.

7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, “Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"

8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, “As God is my witness, I’ll never go hungry again!"

9. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now."

10. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash each biscuit with your fist.

11. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

12. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

13. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

14. Sign or p.p. all letters with your initials and a swastika.

15. Dry hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough embarrassingly, then lean in to the machine and whisper loudly, “I’ll see you later”

ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE
Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity.
The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.