ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.

milaadesign.com :. professional flash designer … fun in a kind of funny way .. ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.

Zidane Headbutt Outrage: new video evidence | The Register … very clever in terms of humour - AND video manipulation. It’s A Joke People - Find Out More

.. A frozen beer cures everything OK - a new email signature if ever I saw one ! ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.

In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections.

1. THINGY Female...... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male....Playing cricket without a box. 3. COMMUNICATION Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys. 4. COMMITMENT Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.

Dear Mr Addison, I am writing to you to express our thanks for your more than prompt reply to our latest communication, and also to answer some of the points you raise. I will address them, as ever, in order. Firstly, I must take issue with your description of our last as a "begging letter". It might perhaps more properly be referred to as a "tax demand". This is how we at the Inland Revenue have always, for reasons of accuracy, traditionally referred to such documents.

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous in the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.” So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of ***. 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set aside this special time to publicly humiliate yourself. 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way. 6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

...She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit. ...Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up. ...And I asked how come I had to give up stuff and not her. ...She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me. ...I told her that was what the beer was for. I don't think she's coming back.......... It’s A Joke People - Find Out More

The Washington Post published its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate word meanings. 1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent. 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote New Zealand pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW X5 four wheel drive advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window as he slid to a halt by the shepherd. “If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock” the young man asked, “will you give me one?

DEMOCRATIC You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you REPUBLICANISM You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So? SOCIALIST You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. COMMUNIST You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?" She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Chicago.

A Washington, DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our (I think they mean the US) country is in trouble! 1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!) 2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport

Some reasons why the English language is so hard to learn: 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

… seen as a major step in the war on software theft - but the real question (according to the BBC this morning) … is it just ‘Window’ Dressing? ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.

ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.

ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway. Nothing is moving and suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks “What’s going on ?" “Terrorists have kidnapped Tony Blair, John Prescott, Gordon Brown and Jack Straw. They’re asking for a £310 million ransom. Otherwise they’re going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire. We’re going from car to car, taking up a collection.

Princess Diana’s death represents the truest definition of globalisation … An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling) followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines. This is originally written (ed - sorry - I don’t know who) by an Englishman, in France, using Bill Gates’s technology, and you’re probably reading this on your computer, that uses Taiwanese chips and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Moroccans.

It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It’s important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you. 4. It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

cut and paste away … For My Attorney Friends: “Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

Corporate Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you £1000 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.