@Annie oh wow - so an uninspiring post that lead to another uninspiring post that basically claimed that the first uninspiring post was - well uninspiring - actually inspired an inspirational post. Now how good is that!

Interesting that you arrived at the concentric circles without bothering with the Dunbar bit. And I don’t disagree with your premise. We can't give everyone the same - so totally makes sense. Love it - including Cigarette. I think I have heard a little of his stuff this year somehow - most definitely a talent - with soul.

Back to the circles. I think of the circles a little differently. Akin in some way to why task management doesn’t work UNLESS your task management is time bound.

Here is the giant list of things - this is how long I expect each to take - map them into a calendar where all your other time commitments sit - to arrive at a realistic understanding of what can really be done.

The Circles?

I will choose simple (rounded) numbers - for napkin analysis - if it resonates, use your own specifics. And my maths might be off - but I hope you get the drift.

In a year I can only allocate 9,000 hours

I will sleep for 30% of that time I will work for 25% of that time I will commute for 5% of that time I will eat, shower and apply good personal hygiene so I can bond with others for 5% of that time

I am left with 2,700 hours

I need to dedicate 1 hour per day to me time I need to dedicate 2 hours per day to my kids

I am now left with 1,500 hours

My inner circle has just 4 people in it

If i devote 5 hours per week (that sounds a lot - but is only 1/3 of what I have committed to children) to each - that will use up 5 * 4 * 52 = 1,040 hours.

I now have just 500 hours - 2 hours per day to distribute across all other friend levels.

Is it any wonder that we feel bad?

And 150 ... you are kidding - right?

There's another separate line of thinking I have that is

1) around male and female biases 2) where you are geographically - compared to those friends. 2.1) if your 'best friend' lives on the other side of the world are they still your best friend. If they are, then time is not a measure of 'friend quality'.

Over and out.

For now :-)