A couple arrives home to their 5-bedroom house in a leafy suburb. Upon
entering the house, they call out for their eldest daughter, whose
18th birthday it was that day. The expected answer did not come, so
the father went upstairs. He knocked and entered his daughter's
bedroom and saw a letter on the bed.
With the worst possible premonition, he read with trembling hands:
Dear Mum and Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I've
eloped with my new boyfriend. I've found real love and he is so nice,
especially with all his piercings, scars, tattoos, and his big
motorcycle. But it is not only that, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that
we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have
many more children with me and that is one of my dreams.
I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing
it for us and his friends. They're the ones providing us with all the
cocaine and ecstasy we could ever want.
In the meantime, we'll pray for science to find the AIDS cure so Ahmed
gets better. He deserves it.
Don't worry about money, Ahmed has arranged for me to be in films that
his friends Leroy and Jamal make in their basement.
Apparently I can earn £50 a scene and I get a £50 bonus if there are
more than three men in the scene, and an extra £100 if they use a
horse. Don't worry Mum, now I'm 18 years old I know how to take care
of myself.
Someday I'll visit you and Dad so that you can meet your
grandchildren.
Your loving daughter, Aimee
P.S. Dad, it's not true, I'm at a neighbours house.
I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than
denting the car.
Sorry about your Mercedes x
ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE
Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.