A Washington, DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our
(I think they mean the US) country is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that
her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to
Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you
look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts," Without trying to make
her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts,
Capetown is in Africa," Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida
package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando.
He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's
not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied,
"Don't lie t o me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it
possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they
look so close on the map." (OMG, again)
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he
could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed
he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted
to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we
will need a car to drive between gates to save time." (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to
know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am
and got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour
ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time
Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker cal led and asked, "Do airlines put your
physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to
whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked
in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and
I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for
a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing) I came back and
explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and the airline was
just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to
Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be
cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who
asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly
he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but
none of these planes have numbe r s on them."
10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to
Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer
planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane.
She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the
documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy
discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh,
no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of
those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa.
When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and
every time they have accepted my American Express!"
12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I
want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words.
Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" Yes,
whatflights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, I
came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in
the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh,
don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" So I
scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't
mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply? "Whatever! I knew it was a big
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