1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of ***.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to publicly humiliate

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it
my way.

6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

7. I'm out of my mind at the moment, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here - I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I don't understand a *uckin word
you're saying.

10. Ahhh. I see the stuff-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision - I just don't give a ***.

14. I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique
point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your cry-baby whiny ***ed opinion would be?

24. Do I look like a fuckin people person to you?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. Oh, I get it. Like humour. Only different.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without the door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume, but must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is finally done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun.

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

40. Wait a minute - I'm just trying to imagine you with a personality


Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.