The Letter // 💬 John Philpin

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an
envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed,
"Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read
the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I
had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a
scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy,
and she is so nice,but I knew you would not approve of her, because
of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and
because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion,

Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns
a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole
winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has
opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really hurt
anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the
other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we
want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for
AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!! Don't worry
Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your
many grandchildren.

Love, your son, John.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than
the school report that's on my desk. I love you! Call when it is safe
for me to come home.

ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE
Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity.
The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.