BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road
because it was time for a change! The chicken
wanted change!
JOHN
MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY
CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. Th is experience makes me uniquely qualified
to ensure right from Day One! that every chicken
in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road.
But then, this really isn’t about me.
GEORGE
W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
chicken is either against us, or for u s. There is no middle ground
here.
DICK
CHENEY: Where’s my gun?
COLIN
POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL
CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?
AL
GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN
KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now , and will remain against
it.
AL
SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black
chickens.
DR.
PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize
that he must first deal with the problem on this side of
the road before it goes after the problem on the other
side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s
acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new
problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to
give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON
COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the
road.
NANCY
GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s
guilty! You can se e it in his eyes and the way he
walks.
PAT
BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking
American.
MARTHA
STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs
when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
insider information.
DR
SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been
told.
ERNEST
HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough.
BARBARA
WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming
story of how it experienced a serious case o f molting, and went on to
accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN
LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.
BILL
GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008.
This new platform is much more stable and will nevercrash or need to be
rebooted.
ALBERT
EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
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