If you had purchased £1000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago they would now be worth £4.95.
With HBOS last week your £1000 would have been worth £16.50
£1000 invested in XL Leisure would now be worth less than £5.
BUT
If you bought £1000 worth of Tennents Lager one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminium re-cycling plant, you would be paid £214.
So based on the above statistics the best current investment advice is: Drink heavily, re-cycle.
ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE
Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.