1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

  2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

  3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

  4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

  5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still going to be stationery.

  6. A dog gave  birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

  7.  Two  silk worms had a race.  They ended up in a  tie.

  8.  A  hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are  looking into  it.

  9. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

  10. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here, I’ll go on a-head.’

  11. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

  12. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’

  13. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’

  14. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

  15. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

  16. Don’t join dangerous cults; practice safe sects.

ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE

Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity.
The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.