Yes, it's  that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards areâ¨bestowed,  honoring the least evolved among us.â¨â¨Here is the glorious  winner:
1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim duringâ¨a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot didâ¨something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and triedâ¨the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cuttingâ¨machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to hisâ¨insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its menâ¨to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger..â¨The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during aâ¨blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken theâ¨space.  Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driverâ¨found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting fromâ¨Harare to Bulawayo had escaped.  Not wanting to admit his incompetence, theâ¨driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a freeâ¨ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling theâ¨staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies..â¨The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious headâ¨wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received theâ¨injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close heâ¨could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a  Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,â¨and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulledâ¨a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptlyâ¨provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20â¨bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15.â¨[If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided thatâ¨he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab someâ¨booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head atâ¨the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on theâ¨head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made ofâ¨Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape...
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbedâ¨her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was ableâ¨to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, theâ¨police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back toâ¨the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand thereâ¨for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That'sâ¨the lady I stole the purse from."
9.. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burgerâ¨King in Ypsilanti  Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.â¨The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash registerâ¨without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said theyâ¨weren't available for breakfast... The man, frustrated, walked away. [*Aâ¨5-STAR  STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on aâ¨Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargainedâ¨for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next toâ¨a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the manâ¨admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose intoâ¨the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declinedâ¨to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
Remember.... They walk  among us, they can reproduce and they are allowedâ¨to vote.............
ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE
Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.