GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground.
TONY BLAIR: I agree with George.
HANS BLIX: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
MOHAMMED SAEED AL-SAHAF (COMICAL ALI): The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We do not even have a chicken.
MARTIN LUTHER KING Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
TRISHA: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it survived a serious case of moulting and went on to accomplish its dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of the chicken to cross the road.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying perverse insecurity.
BILL GATES: eChicken 2007 will not only cross roads but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your cheque book. Internet Explorer 7 is an integral part of eChicken.
BILL CLINTON: What is your definition of chicken?
GRANDMA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
HOMER SIMPSON: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, yummy!!!
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure that, from Day One, every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.
DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before he goes after the problem on the other side. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so badly. Instead of letting the chicken learn from his mistakes and grow, I’m giving this chicken a car so he can just drive across the road!
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent hardworking man.
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
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