… thankyou Mr Kleinsome of you will remember the “Hollywood Squares” and its comics. Here are questions and answers from the days when “Hollywood Squares” game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions. Here we go: Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
Bono, the lead singer of the band, U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous.At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, he asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone … ‘Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies.
Classic - Thanks Lou UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name?Contestant: Goosey, Goosey? THE WEAKEST LINK Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?Contestant: Jool carriageway. Anne Robinson : Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?Contestant: Bombay. Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?Contestant: Crocodiles. Anne Robinson : Wh...?Contestant (interrupting) : Pass! Anne Robinson : In olden times, what were minstrels, travellingentertainers or chocolate salesmen?
At the US War College, a General is a guest lecturer and tells the class of officers that the session will focus on potential problems and the resulting strategies. One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question, “Will we have to fight in a World War Three, Sir?” “Yes, gentlemen, it looks like you will,” answers the General. “And who will be our enemy, General?” another officer asks.
OPENING CEREMONYThe flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of the area, in the traditional dress of balaclava and shell suit. The flame will be contained in a large overturned Police van situated on the roof of the stadium. THE EVENTS In previous Olympic Games, East London’s competitors have not been particularly successful. In order to redress the balance, some of the events have been altered slightly to the advantage of local athletes.
🚧 An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender says to him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time.
I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of sht.2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way. 6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground. TONY BLAIR: I agree with George. HANS BLIX: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
How to Make a Woman HappyIt’s not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be: 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!