For all of you who frequent restaurants and understand the need for the service to be faster, this short story is a timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference to an organization. Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When another waiter brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had

Letter recently received at a problems page :Dear Kathy, My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What’s worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job six years ago, he hasn’t even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and bullshit with his buddies, while I have to work to pay the bills.

Trevor the farmer was in the fertilised egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called ‘pullets’ and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilise the eggs. The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn’t perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

… if he says something in the woods - and no woman is there to hear him ? ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight
“safety lecture” and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some
real examples that have been heard or reported:
 On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you
want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight
attendant announced, “People, people we' re not picking out furniture here,
find a seat and get in it!

Being English is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, and then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most English thing of all is suspicion of anything foreign. Only in England ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. Mark Twain Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress…. But then I repeat myself. Mark Twain I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. Winston Churchill

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room. 2. Put your new hires in the room and close the door 3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours. 4. Then analyse the situation: a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the accounting department. b. If they are recounting them, put them in auditing. c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in engineering.

Another nod of thanks to Mike … Jewbilation (n.) Pride in finding out that one’s favorite celebrity is Jewish. Torahfied (n.) Inability to remember one’s lines when called to read from the Torah at one’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah. (OR from the Hagadah at Passover) Santa-shmanta (n.) The explanation Jewish children get for why they celebrate Hanukkah while the rest of the neighbors celebrate Christmas. Matzilation (v.) Smashing a piece of matzo to bits while trying to butter it.