Sam died. His will provided $50,000 for an elaborate funeral.

As the last attendees left, Sam’s wife Rose turned to her oldest friend
Sadie and said:

“Well, I’m sure Sam would be …

Trevor the farmer was in the fertilised egg business.

He had several hundred young layers (hens), called “pullets” and eight or
ten roosters, whose job was to fertilise the eggs. The farmer …

Mike - I don’t know your source - but keep them coming …

WOMEN’S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = you’ll be sorry

6. We need to talk …

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.

Some people are like Slinkies…not really good for anything, but …

… my thanks to Mike Klein for this …

A short poem created entirely of actual quotations from George W. Bush. These have been arranged, only for aesthetic purposes, by Washington Post …

BLONDE LOGIC

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking and one blonde says to the other, “Which do you think is farther away…Florida or the moon?” The other …

… once more - my thanks to Mike Klein

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. * If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will …

… thanks to Mike Klein

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

1. The Fasting & Prayer …

… thanks to Mike Klein

DAMNITOL

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours

EMPTYNESTROGEN

Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how …

.. thanks to my Dad - and his friends at Probus - for these great one liners.

1. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

2. A man woke up in a hospital after a …