1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of ***. 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set aside this special time to publicly humiliate yourself. 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way. 6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

...She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit. ...Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up. ...And I asked how come I had to give up stuff and not her. ...She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me. ...I told her that was what the beer was for. I don't think she's coming back.......... It’s A Joke People - Find Out More

The Washington Post published its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate word meanings. 1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent. 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote New Zealand pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW X5 four wheel drive advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window as he slid to a halt by the shepherd. “If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock” the young man asked, “will you give me one?

DEMOCRATIC You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you REPUBLICANISM You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So? SOCIALIST You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. COMMUNIST You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?" She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Chicago.

A Washington, DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our (I think they mean the US) country is in trouble! 1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!) 2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport

Some reasons why the English language is so hard to learn: 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

… seen as a major step in the war on software theft - but the real question (according to the BBC this morning) … is it just ‘Window’ Dressing? ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.

ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.