A couple arrives home to their 5-bedroom house in a leafy suburb. Uponentering the house, they call out for their eldest daughter, whose18th birthday it was that day. The expected answer did not come, sothe father went upstairs. He knocked and entered his daughter'sbedroom and saw a letter on the bed.With the worst possible premonition, he read with trembling hands:Dear Mum and Dad,It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I'veeloped with my new boyfriend.
Fainting Goats - click here … the video needs to be watched.: OK - I shouldn’t laugh … but so you know “Myotonic goats are also called Wooden Leg goats, ‘stiff leg’ or Tennessee fainting goats. These are one of the few goats that are indigenous to the U.S. There are two strains of this animal. Most of those found in Tennessee and the eastern U.S. are smaller. When the goat is being fed or becomes startled its muscles become stiff allowing the goat to fall on the ground in a fainting position.
… thanks to Mike Klein for this one. Click on the image to see a larger rendition. ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.
Dear Mr Addison, I am writing to you to express our thanks for your more than prompt reply to our latest communication, and also to answer some of the points you raise. I will address them, as ever, in order. Firstly, I must take issue with your description of our last as a "begging letter". It might perhaps more properly be referred to as a "tax demand". This is how we at the Inland Revenue have always, for reasons of accuracy, traditionally referred to such documents.
A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked,"How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
Ponderisms … funny things these - Carlin-esque … in in some ways. ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set. 2. A day without sunshine is like, night. 3. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 4. I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory. 5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe
It’s time once again to review the winners of the Annual “Stella Awards." The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck of New Mexico who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald’s. That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States. Here are this year’s winners: 7th Place: Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store.
TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks. BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves. CUBE FARM - An office filled with cubicles. MEERKATTING - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.
In an attempt to thwart the spread of bird flu, George W. Bush has bombed the Canary Islands … …. thanks Andrew :) ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.