The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”. In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

It’s an older one - but well worth a revisit. ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.

Three mischievous old Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home when an old Grandpa walked by. And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, ‘We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.’ The old man said, ‘There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.’ One of the old Grandmas said, ‘Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.

Couldn’t resist - number 1 - at the bottom is the personal favorite …. Originally posted here : Oxymorons 45 of the best 45. Act naturally 44. Found missing 43. Resident alien 42. Advanced BASIC 41. Genuine imitation 40. Airline Food 39. Good grief38. Same difference 37. Almost exactly 36. Government organization 35. Sanitary landfill 34. Alone together 33. Legally drunk 32. Silent scream 31. Living dead 30. Small crowd

These just caught my tickle bone - enjoy. 33 Creative and Humorous Guinness Print Advertisements Passed on - with thanks to : Speckyboy Design Magazine ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.

An interesting humorous site I just found through the ‘twitterverse’ … Thirsty Angel Fish ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.

Try this experiment. Put your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour. When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you? Thanks to Mike K ITS.A.JOKE.PEOPLE Originally Posted On Humor.Philpin.com - a now defunct site. I moved the content here for posterity. The date of this post is the date that it was originally published on that site.

Originally Posted Here, recounted here for posterity … NICKNAMES: If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes. EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it’s only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit to wanting any change back.

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, forI may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone. Sex is like air. It’s not that important unless you aren’t getting any. No one is listening until you fart. Always remember you’re unique.

In a Bangkok temple: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN. Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR. Doctor’s office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. Dry cleaners, Bangkok: DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS. In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.